Thanks Toto for giving us this song!

Pretoria, Mabopane & Polokwane Zones, May 5 2018

From Elder Jim Hale (Senior Missionary serving in the Mission Office)

Elder Funk is a wonderful missionary. We have been delighted to see him at the Witbank Branch each Sunday since we arrived in February and were assigned to serve there on Sundays. He has been the Branch President's go to Sacrament Meeting speaker - once speaking three times (one planned, two not) in one month.

From Elder Jim Hale (Senior Missionary serving in the Mission Office)

May 28, 2018

Distance here in Africa's largest LDS mission (geographically):

From the Swakopmund Branch (4 elders) on the Namibian coast to the Motupa Branch (2 elders) in the banana belt of eastern Limpopo Province: 1616 kilometers = 1004 miles.

From Newport on the Oregon Coast to Cheyenne in Wyoming's SE corner: 1612 kilometers = 1002 miles.


Tomorrow from 10-12 am we will have a visit/training session with Elder L. Whitney Clayton who presides over the Church's seven-member Presidency of the Seventy.
The 24 elders of the nearby Pretoria (Stake) and Mabopane (Stake) zones will attend.

From Elder Jim Hale (Senior Missionary working in the Mission Office)

May 31, 2018

On this day when the Church is celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Revelation on the Priesthood, it is appropriate to take note of how strong the Church now is here.

We have two general authority Area Presidencies in Africa. Each of them will have a black African member starting on August 1.
Of the 16-18 Area Authority Seventies who serve here, nearly all are black Africans - including one, announced in April General Conference, who was just released as President of the Gaborone Botswana Stake.
Of the presidents of the 33 (after July 1) LDS missions in Africa, over half are black Africans. Our President is obviously one of those. He is an able leader - and his familiarity with and command of the scriptures are extraordinary - among the most impressive I've seen in my 50 years of Church experience.
Many of our mission's missionaries are from this continent. Most of them are very well prepared, solid young men. Most are just a notch older than our American elders.
And most or our members throughtout the mission are also black Africans ....overwhelmingly so in most wards and branches.
Many bishops and branch presidents (including the President of the Witbank Branch (60 miles) east of our Pretoria office where my wife and I attend on Sundays, are returned missionaries. ...some just months or a few years from the mission field.
We sent one young man home to coastal South Africa a couple of transfers back who was called to the high council of his local Church district - in the same interview at which his district president released him from his mission.
We are only seeing the tip of the iceberg of Church growth on this melt-your-heart continent.

June 11,2018 - Mission Week 49: Be One and have some fun

Tried way to hard to make that title rhymm. 

Hello, and Welcome to Myldsmail News Weekly, on the docket tonight we have Canceled appointment, a visit to witbank by the Mission president, and continued shirt vs. pen violence as another pen ruins one of Elder Funks shirts. Its been a real hum-dinger (what?) of a week and we hope you stay tuned for the details. 

On Tuesday, a man named Ace was given the Book of Mormon on CD due to his blind eyes, He was very excited. then there was a switch for companion exchanges that took place that night. 

Wednesday, 19 year old Elder Funk was seen the whole day with 20 year old Elder Andam. It is reported that Elder Andam is the District leader. They were seen in middleburg going to the home of  Louisa Petzer, Mavis Tjao, and Mpumi (?). they are suspected of also trying to see a man named Vincint and his assosiate Daniel, but the two could not be found. The Two Elders then returned to witbank and spent the rest of the day at the home of known correspondent Sis. Pat. After that the two parted ways. 

Thursday,   The ringleader and overlord of this gang of dogooders was seen entering the appartment of Elder Funk and Elder Coka early that morning, (gonna break from this stupid joke to explain the interview, he basically told me that this time around I should be leaving Witbank, but that he still wants to keep me close to the office and Pretoria) 

Friday, was normal, sme with saturday, lots of cancels, and nothing noteworthy. 

Sunday, Everyone canceled. Litterally everyone, and we cant door knock on sundays sooooooooooooooooooooooo  watched some church movies and ate food, and called EVERY LESS-ACTIVE. only 3 were willing ot meet us though. A lot of "hello is this (name)?" "yes" "This is the Missionaries from the Church, how are you?" "who were you looking for?" "(name)"  "no this is (random other name), you have a wrong number" *hangs up*  * calls again so they know you know its not a wrong number, but this time they don't answer, or number busy us* 

Then you move on to the next name. 

so yeah. 

here are some random thoughts and also notes from the Be One conference We watched on sunday (side not to be One, most everyone was Crying, and it was mostly Northern/Central African Cultural stuff)

• Elder Funk- Boats, Bread, Being obsessed with Things
• Dead Litterallism is a problem when you a sarcastic as me. 
• Marking would be a fun job
• I miss being in buildings with Insulation, Its just brick here. 
• House Music is going to kill me.
• B-List african movies all use the same songs. at the same time.
• The Biblical Shew - the Worst part of the King James Version
• Elder Coka is a lot like Tad Decker. 
• Pens 3, Shirts 0

Be One Notes

• The Lord Rarely gives reasons, he expects faith.
• Relations of Patience, Faith, and Hope to Lasting Coversion
• 75,000 members to 600,000 by the end of this year, and I helped with that. 
• I need to buy a Traditional Shirt 
• Go to the temple more
• 40 years is a big number in the Ghospel
• President Nelson tearing it up with Jokes
• Male and Freemale (he misspoke)
• Live the Culture of the Ghospel
• Be One dangit
• and clapping after everything seemed to make President Nelson Uncomfortable. And the clapping was super awkward since only one lady in the building we watched was clapping with them. Everyone else was busy crying. 

So yeah, good week. I had way to much fun writing this E-mail. 

Go live your dreams.

Go swimming

Kthanksbye

June 4, 2018 - Mission week 48: Birthdays, and slow days

Monday, we took pictures under this one bridge, upload speed is awful today though, so sorry, pictures next week. Then we didn't go to Pretoria as planned so we went with Kwa'Guqa to their FHE with Sis. Mpurang, it was fun.

Tuesday, was the Special Conference with President L. Witney Clayton of the Seventy. He talked about a lot of good things. Don't really have much to share though, its mostly relevant to this specific mission. so yeah. Then we drove back to Witbank and saw a few people.

Wednesday, we had to fix another flat tire, and then we had a lady stop us while we were walking to the car, and asked us to come teach her, so that will be fun, we going next week. Noxolo is her name.  then we had to run a few errends for the office.

Thursday, We went to middleburg and had another Awesome lesson with the Golden Boy Vince.  While we were talking we put him on date, and he expressed his feelings and it was just great. Daneil, his newly moved in member friend, told us about how his stepmom burned his book of Mormon so he needed a new one, so that was fun. Daniel is insanely powerful in the ghospel, but his family wont let him serve a mission, so that blows

Friday, we met with the normal people in Phola, and also a guy named Moses, who introduced us to his friend named Nonhlahla, who then proceded to open up to us about her very large amount of problems and challenges keeping her from being happy. She's a Traditional healer, so that will be interesting.

Saturday, was my Companions birthday, so we went to a fancy burger place called Rocomamas, and had a good time, then we saw a few members and other people and one of them threw him a surprise party, with Fatcake burgers (scone hamburgers, waaaayyyy good. the guy owns a restaurant)

Sunday, was a nice fast and testimony meeting in  which I was the only male to actually get up. then we had another birthday party for another member, which was fun. nothing much really happened though.

Today, is today.

Random thoughts I have written in my planner:

President Chadambuka told his Proposal story at the special conference

Sis. Chadambuka had just been told not to become a nun (a whole nother story) when she was talking to her friend Dunstan (president) he could see she was still bummed (it had been a few months, they had started dating, since she could now) and he said "Here is something to look forward to, I'm getting married in a few months"  "to who?" she said  "you"

which is the smoothest thing I've ever heard, and also totally goes against all tradition in Zimbabwe. So that was the greatest thing ever

Family history work is really hard here, since written records don't go back past the 1800's for the Native people.

and I person can make a difference. Didn't write the context for that, but its still true.

kthanksbye

May 28, 2018 - Mission week 47: The 25th is a monthly holiday

The 25th was on a weekend this month, so everything was a madhouse.

people get payed on the 25th, and then go buy lots of things, and alchahol, and when its on a weekend, its extra party time. so that was fun.

Also, all the sudden, like all our investigators moved again, and also, the ones who stayed started calling us 'sir' out of nowhere. 

So honestly, I'm not gonna go through the 'day to day' this time, because Nothing super exciting happened.

Acually I am

Monday, we did nothing, and then had FHE with the Ngubane family as usual.

Tuesday, we finally met with a guy named Moses, who has been attending church for weeks, but would never let us meet with him. So that was fun, it was a good first lesson, he already knows a lot since he's been attending since like, late febuary.  then everyone canceled, and we got fed boiled Mogodu (cow intestine) for dinner and that was difficult to finish. 

Wednesday, was middleburg, and it was the same as normal, except for one thing, and this happens a lot, so I'll talk about it.       we go to a member named sister Petzer first, she's a very long time white member. She gives us lunch and we have good lessons, then we tried to meet a guy named vince, but it didn't work out, then we went to sis. Mavis and he two recently baptized kids, and they unexpectedly gave us two giant Kotas (those bread fry, and meat sandwich things) and then we went to the another investigator, and then we went to the Gumede Family, who gave us a giant dinner. Every once and while this happens and you get to the end of the day so full of food you want to just die. Each succsessive dinner is more than you can handle, but you HAVE to eat it.  so thats always fun

Thursday, was a whole day of trying to have something to do, since people canceled, then the appointment our branch pres. set up, that he promised "if it falls through, ill cook you dinner, so leave from 5 to the end of the day open", canceled, so since we can't tract in the dark, we got burger king. 

Friday, the zone leaders were in town, so Elder Ruben came with us. Only real highlight from that, other than him just being fun, is the fact Magic trick (which i have learned) really come in handy for teaching uninterested teenagers. 

Saturday, was more people canceling again, but we managed to make it work, didn't do a whole lot special. Don't even fully remember what we even did. 

Sunday, was a very nice sunday, good talks. and then I was teaching Ghospel Princples (like every week), and vince, that guy from middleburg was there. Tangent: he is the most golden boy ever, his member friend Daneil is doing an amazing job of fellowshiping, he is actually keeping commitments, he called us asking for good chapters to read from the book of mormon, then would have long conversations with Daniel about what he learned while the work out. THEN during this ghospel principles lesson on baptism, he said that, "I read 8 chapters last night, prayed about it, and then went to bed, I had some crazy dream I don't remember and woke up feeling so good, and just motivated to read more. I feel I have a testimony growing. This is deffinatly something True" so that was LIKE THE GREATEST THING EVER.  and he is gonna be baptized in a month. hopefully the last sunday of this transfer in case I leave. 

and then Today we are playing Ping-pong

and tommorow we are going to Pretoria, since Elder Witney L. Clayton of the Presidency of the Seventy is in town and is holding a meeting for the Pretoria and Mabopane Zones. 

So to end of my super long email is a very motivation quote i heard yesterday, that is motivating me to actually exersise and get back to shape I used to be in. because even though I'm not as fat anymore, I am still not "healthy" 

and we are supposed to excersise as missionaries. 

but anyway the quote is 

"Stop saying one day, and start saying Day One"

which is actually motivating me to actually think of things I have always wanted to do, but never actually done. So When I get home, I am going to do a lot of things. Be the guy who is always doing something. be me in 8th grade. Just do freaking everything i want, because I can. (within reason and the Law)

THIS BUSH IS ON FIIIRRREEEEEEEE

a kid driving his car. Thought it was funny

 weird things no one knows the name of that showed up behind the chapel after church, they ran off quick so pictures arn't great

something I drew for the mission office

May 21, 2018 - Mission week 46: The African Flu

So Monday and Tuesday I had the flu. Went to a clinic a Kwa'Guqa member worked at, and waited in line for 3 hours for free medication, and then went back and slept more.

Wednesday, I was still pretty sick, but we had a very good appointment set in Middleburg, so we went anyway, We met this member who just recently moved In and came to church with his super prepared golden boy of a friend Vincint. We met them at KFC and had a good long talk, answered a lot of Vincints questions, and gave him a Book of Mormon he has already read a lot of. After that we checked on the recently Baptized Toka and Tshireletso, and had a lot of fun.

Thursday, we called and met up with a bunch of the people from the zone finding we did. Nothing really special there, just a few random guys. seem kinda ehh about it. But hopefully we can get them more on board.

Friday, we had district meeting and saw people in Phola, we tried a shortcut we found on a map, but after not actually taking that shortcut, we got lost, but managed to find our way there anyway, and now we know the real shortcut, which makes it take half as many K's to get there. So that's really useful, wish I Would have noticed it like 6 months ago, but whatever

Saturday, was extreamly average. and nothing happened. Lots of people canceled, so we called a  lot of the people who didn't answer from the zone finding.

Sunday, we had high coucillers they gave very nice talks. And then we had the first Branch council meeting in the history of me being here. SO that was fun I guess. Then we saw Sis. Pat.

Other Random things:

They are joking of giving me a Calling here, since its been so long.

our area has a population of 200,000

somebody keeps stilling members meat.

Clinics are an experience.

and its actually pretty cold here not. gotta wear sweaters and crap

kthanksbye

May 14, 2018 - Mission week 45: Another Six in Witbank.

So I told what happened monday last week, since I emailed so late, So this will start with Tuesday.

Tuesday, we did zone finding in the park in witbank, so everyone got to come down and see the place no one ever comes to, and we set up a stand with a big poster of the Book of Mormon, and took the contacts, and gave B.O.M's and Restoration pamphlets to all of them, we managed to give out all that we had in only 2 hours, and got about 70 names. that we have been slowly calling, and got a few fairly interested people, Will make us very busy this next transfer. Then we took everyone to see Sis. Pat, since she wanted us to, and we had soup and a lot of fun.

Wednesday, was pretty normal, left my planner at the flat again, and honestly don't even remember what we did. 

Thursday, we Interviewed two 'more-or-less' children of record, Toka and Tshireletso. and ate way to much food. 

Friday, we went to phola, and then were gonna meet up with some of the branch for bowling, but then everyone canceled and I started feeling sick.

Saturday, I was sick at the flat pretty much the whole day, but we did go to one appointment with the Maabane family, which was fun enough.

Sunday i was still way sick, but we had baptisms so We stayed the whole time, I did the baptisms and even though we had the water on since 7, it was only knee deep, and so that was really hard. Hit one of their heads on the faucet. so that was embarrasing, but she was cool about the whole thing.  the rest of the day was Skyping home, and me sleeping. 

I honestly can't think of more to talk about, other than the fact I am now the longest serving missionary in Witbank History, since I am staying with Elder Coka for another 6 weeks, making 5 tranfers here. Getting Elder Andam in Kwa Guqa though, and he's fun. he's the Only black american in the mission, and everyone always thinks he's South African, and he's way chill. 

I love you all. 

Life is good, as much as I complain sometimes. 

The work is amazing to watch, here we get to watch the Restoration happening right before our eyes, Sometimes it's slow, and it's usually hard, but It is the only way things will change. 

kthanksbye

sorry if i don't end up with pictures again, its raining, and the internet is all over the place.

May 7, 2018 - Mission week 44: I bounced

Hello Everyone, I am late due to a zone activity, a tampoline park called Bounce, which was very fun, and the place I'm emailing at today is having some crazy internet problems, so I'm typing really fast in a attempt to make sure I at least send something, which is why No pictures this week, even though I have a lot to send.

So Monday, we didn't do much, Other than almost have the zone activity we ended up doing today. And we made some nice pasta, since my Companion is a Mediteranian boy from Almost Italy.

Tuesday we saw a few people, the noteworthy thing being that one of our investigator familys, Ace and his daughters, actually read about the Book of Mormon, and best of all, Ace is blind, so they read to him as a family. (not good that he's blind, good that they are putting in effort). then at night we drove to Pretoria so we wouldn't be late for mission Tour the next morning. 

Wednesday, (Day 300 of mission) was said mission tour, with Elder Hamiliton, the area president. Talked about a lot of very good things, the best being "pure testimony". mainly talked about how testimony isn't a story, isn't a sermon, and is from the heart, and how those are the ones that will truely touch people. Afterwards we went to the Huge Menlyn mall and got some of the brand new CINIBON shop, and SUBWAY. which was pretty much the greatest thing ever. 

Tursday, was nothign noteworthy really. 

Friday, we had a good time seeing Recent converts for pretty mcuh the whole day, and also saw the Ngubane family for a nice dinner as always. 

Saturday,was also normla, can't think of anything other than "We taught a bunch of People the gospel."

Sunday was a wonderfully powerful testimony meeting that we had a lot of investigators almost come to. then all our appointments canceled. Then we made snickerdoodles.

Today, as I said we went to this huge trampoline park and then a nice seafood lunch, spent to much money, but had a lot of fun, got some way cool picture, but sadly can't send them due to internet issues. 

Also on Saturday I found a store with 'imported spices' and found some way nice taco seasoning, since cumin and chili powder is im0possible to find, gonna loook for steak seasoning like Montreal, spices here are few and all the same. 

Also miss having free refills at any resturaunt, even McDonalds. 
So yeah, thats that, The time continues to fly, and its been 10 months since I left, Gonna be a year before I know it. then gonna be home like that.
Its also funny, I skyped from Witbank at Christmas, and I'm still here to skype at Mothers day, so thats always fun. 
kthanksbye

April 30, 2018 - Mission Week 43: The Mines are Closing

So the area I'm Serving in is one of the largest mining cities in all of South Africa, and 2 of the bigger mines are closing since they are running out of coal. So lots of people are losing there jobs, and moving away, so the work is slowing down a bit, it's been very hard to find new people, and a lot of out good people are leaving town, so we are stuggling to stay busy. Plus it's the end of the month and a holiday at the same time, so everyone is either visiting home, or Drunk.

We managed to help a long time less active come back to church 3 times in a row now, and he is working on getting a temple recommend, His name is Allen. So that's nice. Put a whole family on Date for Baptism, which is also nice. Had interviews with the Mission President, and Finally finished getting our flat repaired. We had to have district meeting in our flat, since they were fixing some wiring. The Zone leaders came down, and Elder Ludloff came with us. We had a lot of fun, managed to meet a lot of people. Printed a few pictures to put on the wall, rearranged that whole thing, looks way cool now, and then I forgot to take a picture of it (or anything this week).

but this coming week I have a lot of picture plans, We will hopefully be bowling with a lot of the members and less actives, plus a way cool bridge to take pictures at, plus, zone activity and Mission Tour with Elder Hamilton.  So next week I'll have a lot to talk about. Should make up for this short one this week.

love you all

kthanksbye